sorry i didn't post for a bit again. i took a final exam on friday and passed !! so that's one course less to worry about. now it's time.... to deal with calculus..........

i rewatched some bits of the iamsophie web series bc i'm finally giving in and drawing polaris as lara and sophie; their current dynamic is sort-of-not-really based on them and has been since like mid-2023.

something that really surprised me is how tall the actress who played the og sophie is. there's not many scenes in the series where she and lara are seen in the same space, even less standing next to each other in such a way that you can easily compare this, but there's a moment at the end of the crazy n1 fan video where it happens and wow why is sophie like a whole head taller than lara !? what !!! i would've never in a million years guessed the difference was so obvious. damn

my college's online campus sucks ass so much i had to go in-person to fix something that took like 3 minutes.

i'm also peeved because this year's french classes have the worst schedule everrrr. leaving home with this heat at like 1pm is going to be torture. what the hell

sorry i didn't post for a bit, i keep having thoughts that i want to put here, but i leave it for later and end up forgetting them lol.

temperatures in the area have been lower recently, so at least i don't feel like i'm melting when i go outside.. life could be worse

i reaaaally don't want to go back to college. i feel quite lonely there to be honest.... i don't know how to make friends </3

random takes:

• carpeted floorings give me the ick. they just look really gross.
• for how much the tadc fandom loves to ship anybody (not saying it's a bad thing mind you), i'm surprised at how averse they are towards most ships with kinger. particularly thinking abt ragatha because like.. he's not that old </33 and she's a grown ass woman. i don't ship them either, i just find it funny how everyone acts like the idea of doing so is a crime.
• i'm so tired of vagueposters on twitter i'm gonna kill them all.
• kangaroos are the ugliest creatures ever and they really freak me out. cartoons give them wayy too much credit drawing them all friendly and cute.
• if you don't use a bidet you're missing out.
• i fucking hate street tugger he's so chopped and he wears a CAP on his head !!? that's just some guy in weird cat makeup like c'mon.

i am soo looking forward to the witch hat anime !! everything they've shown looks great so far. i still want to have a little bit of skepticism in fear of being uzumakied again but.... hopecore. the moment coustas shows up i'm dead.

i've been dealing with blackouts everyday at around "siesta" time here (between 2 and 4PM), when the temperature is at it's highest and everyone turns their ACs on at the same time to try and get some sleep. sometimes it goes on for hours.

it feels like torture. you're just sitting sad somewhere in the house, melting at like 40 something degrees celsius (like over 110F or something idk). i can't even be on my phone for too long because it starts to overheat and i don't want to kill my battery.

i feel so gross all the time during summer, even more so than usual. fuck the electricity provider in my city, they are useless.

i've been yearning to go back to therapy. i think i need someone to talk to, but i worry that they'll just look at me weird when i show the result of years rationalizing all of my thoughts and recognizing my patterns. i'm just not able to get out of there and it's so frustrating, i feel trapped.... i just wanna be happy and play and draw and go on walks and enjoy pretty views and have friendss why does the fact that i'm so fugly have to ruin everything and make me feel undeserving of any joyyyyyy oh my god bruh. i want to rip my face off.

drew basically the only fully canon idzr ship i have as chibis for valentines, they turned out very cute i think !! i tried out this lineart coloring method i'd seen around on instagram and it's very cool. maybe i'll use it in my art moving forward.

i installed minecraft again, i haven't really played it in around 2-3 years. i still enjoy it, but my hand began to feel sore after like 30 minutes of running around, so i left it there for today.

i was thinking about installing greenfield, one of the most iconic maps out there. when i was a kid i was obsessed with it, i would go around flying through the city for hours and hours. really miss those times....

being kind of a hater again but today was one of those days that make it hard to leave twitter.. i haven't laughed this much in a while, chibi reviews is getting fried by everyone. deserved. next one is grummz, hopefully. woke is back !!!

it's hard to take a step back and think about all the time that has passed since i last felt.... not so hopeless ?? i don't know how to describe it. i'd say that time was in highschool, when i thought life would change lots once i graduated. i could become a whole new person !! i thought.... i haven't really made any progress.

feels like i was still getting ready to go to hs yesterday, everything is the same but also different. you could throw me back there and i don't think i'd see much of a difference. sometimes i wish i could go back.

but i mean, don't we all ? i think most of us would love to go back to when we didn't feel like living had so many responsibilities.

i feel out of place and time. useless. gross. stuck. i really should go back to therapy.. i'm scared. i'm scared to lose more people and things, i want to tell them that i love them but i'm afraid they'll think i want to kill myself or something. i yearn to experience joy sometime. i miss you.

i was looking through the cats wiki gallery for pouncival/carbucketty and found this picture..... they're so cute !! cats with actual cats !!! giggling and kicking my feet like an idiot

posted polaris and magicalyria's casuals !! yay. the next goal is uhhh their dreamchord themed outfits, basically their default idol costumes. i'll probs just draw them over the same bases i used for these casuals to show them to the masses. i wanna draw them really badddd i hate being such a slow artist.

been thinking lots about tyler and lily, their dynamic gets messier by the minute. i've also been considering a redesign for zai's clothes, just to avoid having to come up with a design for the graphic tee. idk

days keep passing, college gets closer, i don't feel like doing much of anything.

at least i'm pretty much done with polaris and magicalyria's casuals. my issue now is that i lowkey didn't think their height difference would be that obvious.... i might make some of them shorter/taller to mitigate the effect.

big fan of this recording of the jellicle ball from the london revival. the outfits look great, it's the whole 12+ minute thing, the quality is extremely good for cats-show-clip-on-youtube standards.. it would be perfect, were it not for street tugger. i do nottttt fw that guy.

anyway, what i really wanted to point out were some of the moments with misto and pouncival. i loev them very much........ i mostly enjoy cats as a performance and don't have much to say about the characters beyond what's canon, but these two are so cute together hnghhhhhhhhhh they're friends in my heart

new month ! i don't have anything new to say.... period cramps suck and i should be preparing myself for hell (college) but i'm not :p

my mouse is pissing me off really bad.... the little wheel in the middle keeps getting stuck.